Darika answers your questions about getting older....

My birthday is next week and I will be thirty years old. I am very depressed about this because I have no boyfriend and I am afraid I will be too old for this in the future. Sure you are much older that I am. What is your advice about growing old?

At first Darika was offended to be considered an expert on becoming old. I have passed thirty, forty and fifty and honestly I wonder what you are whining about. Ageing is inevitable. Some of us age painfully and some age with grace. Some of us improve with age. The only thing you need to worry about on your 30th birthday is whether you should choose pain, grace or the obvious pleasures of someday dating men who are less than half your age. (Guess which Darika chose.) Just take good care of your body because you can't replace it. However, you can easily replace your fear with anticipation if you can realize that a 30th birthday is only the beginning of your life. Save a piece of birthday cake for Darika.


I've been a big fan of yours for a long time.  I am an American who has lived here in Bangkok for just over three years. I must admit that when I first arrived, I was overwhelmed by the incredible number of... well, there's no other way to put it....DROP DEAD GORGEOUS boys.  For the first year I was here, I had more fun than any 40 year old man deserves to have.  My problem now has become... "is this all there is?" Here I am living the dream of nearly every western gay man, and I'm finding myself becoming bored to death with sex! Is this possible?  Have I reached my sex saturation limit? Please, Mistress Darika... what can I do to recharge my sex drive?

Indeed it sounds like you have had too much of a good thing. Darika feels the same way the third week into her chocolate binges. I suspect your body (particularly that large mass of tissue between your ears) is telling you that you have had enough. While it is true that Thai men have a lot of eye appeal, there is a lot more to Thailand than a series of orgasms. I suspect that your libido has been switched off because you are looking for something more substantial than a few moments of bliss. I also suspect that some of your partners may be feeling the same way about you. An occasional holiday away from debauchery is healthy and I encourage you to take one. (Have you thought of becoming a monk for a few months?) While enjoying abstinence Darika hopes you will allow yourself to meet someone who you enjoy talking with. If he is attractive to you, so much the better. Invite him to a day of shopping at Chatuchak, dinner in a restaurant that does not serve Thai food, and an intellectually-stimulating film. Keep your hands to yourself and tell him that you do not want to rush into anything. If he still makes your eyes sparkle after sixty days drag him to your bed. I think you will find that your libido will work perfectly well.

Love, Darika