Darika answers your questions about grooming and your body....

Dear Darika,

My farang boyfriend has told me that he refuses to buy any more skin whitening products. He has also thrown away my cleansing foam, shower gel and moisturizer because they are skin whitening. This has made me very angry. What do you think I should do about this?

- A

Khun A,

To many foreigners, dark is sexy. Your boyfriend may be worried that your cosmetics are actually harmful. However, it is more likely that he is afraid you will lose one of the qualities that made you attractive to him in the first place--your complexion. Although Darika wonders why so many Thai people do not want to look Thai, it is important for you to make your boyfriend understand that you are not a child and that your appearance is up to you and not him. It was very childish of him to throw away your things. Hopefully, if you talk to him honestly and calmly he will understand that choices you make about grooming are an expression of how you feel about yourself. He also needs to understand that you are the same person who he fell in love with whether your skin is dark or light. If he does not, you should find a new boyfriend who is willing to share his own skin products with you.


Pa Darika,

There is a small problem about my body that I am too shy to discuss with my friends. I have a lot of hair "down there."" There is really a lot of it. I am afraid no boy will like me.

Love, Noi

Dear Noi,

If you think that changing part of your body will make you feel happier about yourself, that is what you should do. The best way to begin is by shaving off all of your unwanted hair. Just take my advice, it is always more fun if you find a friend to do the shaving for you. Two or three days after shaving, however, you may be very itchy and uncomfortable, and will not feel very sexy at all. Other solutions are available and Darika has tried them all. (You may not know this, but Darika has a big problem with unwanted hair between her eyebrows. It is like I have one giant eyebrow that goes from one side of my face to the other. It is not very glamorous to look like Frida Kahlo.) Some of the wonderful spas that advertise in various magazines offer treatments that will remove unwanted hair for a longer period of time than shaving. "Waxing" is the least expensive, although some people find it a bit painful "down there," although on the face, chest, arms or bottom it is less uncomfortable. Hair can be removed permanently by laser in a cosmetic surgery clinic. This is mildly painful but you never have to do it again. It is also expensive.

Noi, listen carefully to Darika. Boys will like you because of your heart and your smile. Some will actually enjoy your forest of fur. Maybe the best treatment of all is not to change anything but your attitude. If you are looking for friendship or love and not just sex, remind yourself that nobody will love you any more or any less because of all this special hair fate gave you. I am sure you are very beautiful already.